Marriage
counseling may be the first thing you think of when you realize
that married
life isn't all that you hoped it would be. Or perhaps seeing
a marriage counselor is the last thing you would consider. How
likely you are to take this tack is likely influenced by how readily
you are able to admit that your marriage
relationship is not all that it can be, how comfortable you
are with the prospect of discussing intimate details about your
marriage in front of someone else and whether you believe your
relationship is actually able to be salvaged. So how do you know
if your unhappy
marriage can be resuscitated back to life? And not only that,
but turned into the best
marriage it can be?
-You need to be committed to making your relationship work. This
is where the test of your marriage vows really comes into play.
If you enter into counseling not really believing that it can
help repair the damage or that the relationship is worth saving
then you are sabotaging your efforts upfront. Without a solid
commitment to making it work, it doesn't matter what marriage
help you get you will be unlikely to succeed.
-You need to be willing and able to seek out the marriage
advice you need to get your relationship back onto a solid
footing. It can be difficult to take advice from others because
we all fundamentally believe that what we are currently doing
is right and it is the other person that need to change. Even
if your partner doesn't feel comfortable with getting help, it
can be enough for one person to change. This is because a change
in one half of the marriage equation alters the dynamic in the
relationship and the games that you used play with each other
will no longer work in the same way so you will be forced to enter
into new ways of functioning.
-Prepared to implement the changes that have been suggested by
a marriage
counselor or that you've read about in a marriage help manual.
You both need to be determined to resolve any areas of conflict
either by changing the way you do things or accepting your areas
of difference. Once you are able to open the door on change in
your relationship and learn some new skills for coping with problems
that arise then together you will be able to build a strong foundation
for the future. |
